ksc0130

A year later since that journal and not a post to date from me since 2016. I came back to write this because I couldn't sleep actually... I've been up since 3 am. Now I have no idea if its the hunger or the excitement of Christmas or even that I have to mentally prepare myself for my bestfriend's birthday tomorrow but its one of those many things. For one, I'm a college kid now who had a job that required more of me than I could give at the time. Long story short, I was running like crazy. I haven't had time to do much of anything let alone post or do art. 

But as I came back on my page I look up and see that little title: Member for 7 years... 

I grew up on here guys. I'm turning 19 in nearly a month and I do all the adult things that is expected of me through society. Although it sucks and I neglected the page because... well I actually don't remember why. I had a small group of friends on here (I'll shout them out later to see of they're still kicking it) and had a really good time on this site- and now that Tumblr is wavering why not come back here just to see how everyone is going. 

As for a life update: I graduated from high school, I'm in college majoring in Biological Chemistry (with a bunch of minors), and I quit that job because it all be came too much for my mental space. Since 2015 I've been writing a book... and have actually stuck with it. Now that I'm back to my roots I want to get back to drawing in my freetime. So, consider this page in revamp mode. It is 7 years old after all. 

I actually want to shout out these guys that I haven't seen in nearly 3 years and have forgotten the majority of the people on here, but you four have been in my memory for all the good times we had together since I was 12 years old. Let me know if you guys are still alive on here ok (or if you even remember me because its been so damn long) I know we all gotta be nearly adults by now or atleast in our senior years in highschool. I'm back for real this time!

Summer-Starz 
Link-of-the-twilight 
WhiteMageHealer 
OcarinaGreen 

I am returning DevaintArt after 2 years.

I'm now 18 years old...

Let's do this.

I have a Tumblr! I've had one for awhile now, I don't know what I thought to keep them separate... I'm thinkin' about spendin' more time on there rather here... (I have to admit it is rather dead...) 

Tumblr: silvelight0130.tumblr.com/

Who's Here? I'm pretty bored. 

Today is the day the last shred of happiness left my family.  It first started with my momma, whose personal stress and failed attempts at everything began to make her miserable. It began to suck the life out of the rest of us. I don’t blame her however.

Then, came me… depression is a scary thing. I fake happiness with friends who love me and a boyfriend who stays with me in thick and thin, but wonder if he really does care. I don’t think I’m worth anything most of the time and even though I feel confident something triggers me not to…

Usually it’s a stressful situation, or an augment… or just my mental state. I want to go to counseling. I think I should just talk to my councilors at school now. My mom said she would but I think she’s hoping it’ll just go away.

It won’t, I’ll just figure it out myself since she won’t help me. For the first time I can say she literally doesn’t understand how I feel, no matter how I tell her.

I don’t want to die… I just want a new life away from all the negativity.

My brother today made an irrational decision. Screaming at my already stressed mother. He lost his favorite thing in the world: Baseball.

Today was the day I saw my brother’s happiness go away and his eyes stop shining.

Now we’re all sad, and lost…

Violently disliking each other.

I want to leave this house… I just want to be happy. I don’t want to have kids, in fear of being my mother, a single and sad woman, and I don’t want to be near anyone that’ll be there for me… they might turn on me and leave like so many others and I turn into my brother.

I rather be alone, it’s safer that way.

Alone and happy.

The world depresses me.

~Karielle C.